Not anymore. It would require society to value personal interactions over smartphones and earbuds.

It absolutely happens. Most of my long term partners were that “sparks at first sight” energy. In high school, my first girlfriend and I saw each other from across the bus waiting zone, and it was on. Even our parents were blown away by our chemistry. Unfortunately, she died of acute lymphocytic leukemia two years later. My first wife and I spotted each other from across a nightclub dancefloor. I thought she gave me a fake phone number, but turned out to be real. I was on a bike tour, stopped at a winery, and met an amazing woman who became my second wife 18 months later.

But here’s the problem with that instant connection: it’s almost always a very bad sign. Those instant sparks are indicative of non-verbal cues that both people fit a mutually faulty template. For people who have unaddressed trauma, that template is just waiting to be matched, and it produces disastrous results in the majority of relationships. John Gottman at University of Washington has studied intimate interpersonal dynamics in depth; he and his lab have literally written the book(s) on how to have healthy, fulfilling relationships. Spoiler alert: instant attraction should be a red flag for about 99% of the population.

But yeah, get professional help.

Two of my friends did a Harry Met Sally 35 years ago. Meeting through a ride board, they left Seattle as strangers and arrived in Illinois as a couple. Still very happily together and they seem like a perfect couple.

You’ll never get anywhere setting in your apartment/house posting to strangers that don’t want to met you on the internet. But there’s a chance everytime you leave your quarters someone you want to know well be leaving their place the same time as you.

“You miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. Even though there is only a 1-5% probably of scoring” - Wayne Gretzky

It’s too late for today but… Just go.

You need to do more to get more.

Go.

One of my uncles met his wife because he stopped to help her when her car blew a tire and she was at the side of the road trying to change it. It’s like something out of a Hallmark movie.

They do to people with poor discipline/self-control/bad judgment.

I imagine it’s not really often. I always suspect someone is trying to take advantage of me.

You just need to look good and you can meet someone in any random place.

If not, you will be friend zoned at best, disliked at worst.

Was at a place. There was a campfire. She muttered something in piglatin - no really - to which I responded. We sat out and watched the stars and talked of many things. God, she was gorgeous.

Friend met her husband at the baggage claim. He helped with her bag and they chatted while she waited for her ride. That didn’t start flirty; just with someone who needed help and someone who was willing to offer help.

Two friends of mine met getting in opposite sides of the same taxi after the 2005 London tube bombing caused chaos. They decided to share the ride and it was love at first site. Got married etc.

Don’t know anyone else where it happened like in a movie like that.

Closest is one other friend, having just met and spoken to a girl for about twenty minutes, was just astonished at her take on life and general outlook and said (only half joking) to her “are you my wife?”. He later told friends “I just met my wife”. It was kinda funny because she was a very intelligent and sorted go getter and he was a bit of a bum. But he sorted himself out over the next 3 years and they did in fact end up getting married. Sorry I guess that is kinda like a movie lol…

I would rather go looking in a bar or a club. It’s a bit warmer there.

it DOES happen. disclaimer, only saying this because random place is involved.

if the random place is a suspension bridge, yes.

imo, mostly “falling in love” is a hollywood/ hallmark myth. a “crush” or “mirin” is a more apt word if happened irl.

I totally believe in love at first sight. Because I have BPD and that’s literally a symptom of it. If you fall in love at first sight: it’s a sign of mental illness. 🙃