“Awful” people find relationships like the rest of us: by being interesting, sociable, and/or emotionally validating. No one “deserves” anything, they get what they work for. Pretty people put time and effort into their appearance, interesting people put time and effort into their personality, sociable people put time and effort into learning to socialize.

No one is born romantically successful. I also used to be debilitatingly introverted, unhygienic just generally not the sort of person who attracts romantic partners. I wallowed on the same kind of bitter loneliness you’re expressing here. I thought I was doomed, that I couldn’t change, and that even if I could I wouldn’t want to because that would be inauthentic.

But that’s not the case. People change constantly, whether they’re trying to or not. Growth is a part of what we are. So I cleaned up, I got more flattering clothes and a decent haircut. I started putting myself out there, starting small by trying to make brief friendly conversation with checkout clerks, working myself up to strangers in class, joining clubs, even going out to parties. It was a lot of work, and it took a lot of practice before I could manage more than a few awkward comments. Now, years of practice later, people scoff when I tell them I’m introverted, I’ve had more lovers than I ever would have imagined before, and I’ve been happily married for years. Practice pays off.

Developing a new skill isn’t becoming someone else. And the only who can improve your situation is you. No one “deserves” a partner. That’s a person, not an object. No one is going to want to be with you if you don’t fulfill their needs. No one can force you to change your habits or put in effort, but if no one is just going to fall into your life. If you want people to be attracted to you, you have to make yourself attractive. This woe-is-me attitude is not attractive.

So make a decision, which do you value more: remaining exactly the same as you are, or romance?